Nobody's too young to fall in love. This emotion, the fireworks that go off deep in your chest, that warm, fuzzy feeling... It's a gift everyone should be able to enjoy.
Nobody I know knows that I have this blog.
All the names I've used on here have been changed, so that absolutely no one I know can find it. This is a secret, yet public, documentation of my life.
If anyone I know were to read these posts, my deepest thoughts, I'd undoubtedly be put in a hospital somewhere. :/
It's hard hiding your feelings from the ones you love, but sometimes, it's necessary.
Wanna hear a secret?
I love Ian. I have for a long time. I know him inside and out. He's been here with me through everything, to hell and back. Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering him with the things that I tell him, about myself. That's why I made this: because he doesn't know that I love him. He has no idea that my heart beats faster every time I think of him. He has no idea how often I do think of him. He has no idea how much I'd love to just hold him, just to stay there forever in his arms. Never moving, growing old together. Just falling asleep with him, just being with him.
I'm sure that, at the very last moment of my life, I'll tell him. I won't call an ambulance or my parents or anyone else-- the moment I'm sure that I'll pass away, I'll call Ian and tell him.
Never sooner. I would never be able to handle rejection like that from my best friend...
I don't even think he considers me his best friend. I feel like I'm just the annoying girl he has to put up with on a daily basis.
Holding all that in... It hurts.
A lot.
Cordially yours,
Alex
No comments:
Post a Comment